How to include children with allergies in a party, with Sara Dawson – Food For Kids Podcast episode 99

Joanne Roach (00:13)

Hello and welcome to the Food for Kids podcast. I'm Joanne from the Foodies. On today's episode, we're talking about how to support other people's children who have allergies.

We have had a couple of episodes about what to do if your child invites a friend home who has a special diet. We looked at celiac disease in episode 10 and plant-based or vegan diets in episode 41.

a child home for tea who has an allergy, but also at the more specific topic of how to include a child with an allergy in a birthday party or event.

It can be pretty nerve wracking entertaining other people's children at the best of times, and especially if any of them have got medical issues or allergies, you always want to do things safely and kindly.

For this topic, I interviewed Sara Dawson, who is a highly specialist allergy dietitian with over 11 years experience.

She's worked at two NHS allergy centres of excellence, St. Thomas's Hospital in London and Southampton.

She also helped establish the first adult allergy dietitian service in Southampton and now she specialises in supporting children with allergies

both within the NHS and privately through her company YNRD Limited.

She recently posted a brilliant post about how to make sure that you keep children with allergies safe at parties, but also make sure they feel included. So I thought she'd be a perfect fit for this. So let's get straight into it.

Joanne Roach (01:36)

So Sarah, parents who are listening who have a child with an allergy themselves will already know so much about how to navigate the world safely with their child. But today I'd like to help the listeners who don't have an allergy in their family, but want to be inclusive to any friends of their children who do. So first of all, I'd like to ask if your child invites a friend home for tea and that friend has a food allergy.

What's way to approach that to make that child welcome and safe?

Sara Dawson (02:03)

Yeah, and really you kind of said it yourself in the introduction there, parents of children with allergies are the ones that know everything about what can help and what can't. They're the ones that have been through it. So they're the ones to ask. I think people see this as a big, my goodness, what do I do? Maybe I'll just avoid it, but just speak to the parent. And actually that parent will feel really reassured that you're taking it seriously and that you want to find out, the best approach. And also,

the way that that parent manages their child's allergy may well be different to another It's not a one size fits all. Some parents will need to follow may contain labels, for example, you know, when you read the back of a pack and it says may contain peanuts or made in a factory with peanuts, for example, whereas others don't need to avoid that or have chosen that that's not something that they consider. I think having that first conversation with the parent is essential.

And if the parent is feeling confident, that's going to translate or more likely to translate through to the child as well. So that child then feels comfortable coming around your house. I think similarly as well, it's not a completely to ask a parent what their child's food preferences are. if you're going to be making your daughter's best mates some tea, you will naturally be like, do they like pizza or do they like whatever it is?

So it's just an add on from that. It doesn't need to feel like this strange alien ground and it doesn't need to feel awkward in that way. And then of course just double check whether you need to be aware of any medications. So those are kind of some starting points

Joanne Roach (03:33)

Okay, that's cool. So that's when you've just got one visiting child coming to your house so you can kind of work around them. That's quite a controlled environment. Okay, so now how about the scenario where you've got lots of children to deal with? So like a birthday party or another celebration where you might have a whole group or a whole class. I know a lot of parents get very scared about throwing a party for a whole class in general, but then add in fear about allergies. First First of all, how do you find out if there are any allergies to deal with if you're inviting a whole class or a big group?

Sara Dawson (03:54)

Mm.

I the simplest and the easiest of doing that is putting that on your party invitation. please RSVP, when you  RSVP, please indicate if your child has any food preferences also say and allergies because actually analogy isn't really a preference.

Joanne Roach (04:14)

simple.

Sara Dawson (04:18)

And then if you are aware of a child that has an allergy and that parent hasn't really said anything to you, then of course just approach them and say, can we have a quick chat about this? I I would be very surprised if you had a parent who didn't mention that their child had an allergy, but it does give them that open invitation to feel confident that they can talk to you and show that you take those things into consideration for a party.

Some parents might just think, I'm going to avoid this if they're not even considering these things things. ⁓

Joanne Roach (04:42)

Yeah, so it might make them more

likely to say yes to the invitation.

Sara Dawson (04:46)

Yeah, exactly, which is obviously really important that the child doesn't feel left out. course, from there, make sure the conversation is and open communication. So make sure if they say, yeah, my child's got a milk allergy, don't just be like, OK, cool. Because that then isn't very reassuring they're going to be thinking, do they really know how to read labels? And are they aware of trace amounts and things like that? So just send them a picture of the back of

with the ingredients in of the foods that you are going to provide for them. And again, that can give them the reassurance that you're taking it seriously. I think a really key point here is if anyone is really worried about hosting a party and they know that they've got a class full of children with multiple food allergies and you don't think that you can manage that, do consider hosting a party that isn't surrounded or related to food at all. You could host the party after lunchtime.

And then maybe just provide a snack, which is a packaged snack, which is the one thing that you show parents in it, it's much easier to adapt. For some people, it just isn't something that they feel with. And I think it's really important to admit that to yourself and host a party that isn't necessarily about food.

Joanne Roach (05:53)

Yeah, that makes sense. And if you do provide food, or your child really wants a party where there's a buffet. How do you go about making the food that you provide as safe as possible for the children who've got allergies?

Sara Dawson (05:58)

Mmm.

Yeah, I think you have to be really careful with buffets, especially if the children are able to just go up to the table and grab it because unfortunately with allergies, it's not just a case of here is the food, they might put it in their mouth, but it's also if that child has picked up some cheesy crisps or something and then put their hand in something that isn't cheesy and a child comes along and is allergic to dairy, therefore cheese, there is a risk that they will have a reaction just that cross-contamination.

So if you do have children at a party that you know have allergies, I would suggest actually, if you want it to be a buffet, getting the parents to help serve out the food and have really clear labeling at the front of each of the foods as well. You don't necessarily need to say, this is for little Tommy because he's got an allergy. Try not to isolate him or make him feel conscious of that. But at least that clear labeling is there. So it's one.

Joanne Roach (06:47)

Mm-hmm.

Sara Dawson (06:53)

the thing that you've considered and two, then when the parents are serving out the food, then you know it's a lot more controlled and the children aren't able to come and cross contaminate, make sure that spoons are left the same place and not moved over to different allergen sites. So I think that's a really important one. Or consider just having food pre-packed in little party bags. So then you don't need to worry about the buffet style at all.

Joanne Roach (07:15)

So where you've got younger children who can't advocate for themselves quite as much, maybe consider not having an open buffet that the children help themselves to, maybe have some degree of adult involvement or plating it up.

Sara Dawson (07:24)

Totally. Yeah.

And I think also, even if the children can advocate for themselves, even as adults, you know, I work with adults and children, it's embarrassing or just another level of something that you're like, no, I have to make this about me and, ask this. And although as a dietitian, I do encourage people that, it is their right to ask those questions. Sometimes it can just be nice for them to not even have to have that question because they've got the pack and it says free from this on it. And it's a lot clearer.

Joanne Roach (07:36)

Sure.

Yeah, fair

enough. Is there anything that people well-meaningly get wrong when they're trying to provide food for children with allergies?

Sara Dawson (07:51)

So something to consider.

Yes, yeah. You can go through all of that and think, right, okay, now I've got all the allergen free stuff and I've got the stuff that's not allergen free. I've packaged it all up. I've checked with the parents and all of this. But what I would really strongly recommend is you try and consider offering food that is either naturally allergen free so that all the children have exactly the same food, if you can, if that's realistic for the type of allergen and the food that you're offering. Or try and make it as similar as possible, you know.

Unfortunately, I have definitely had cases where children have been in school and the teachers are offering out cakes and then they'll give the child with an allergen because they're allergic to, you know, egg or dairy and they're given a piece of fruit. And it's like, that's not the no, they won't react to that, great, that's really important and safety is really important, but the impact that will have mentally on the child unfortunately it will happen more than once.

It makes them feel a bit left out and also it can increase their risk of bullying and things like that because children are much more aware that what they're getting is different it's like haha look you're having to eat this

It's massive to feel included, especially when you spend your whole life being like, I can't have this, I can't have that.

So yeah do your very best to try and make it as similar as possible.

Joanne Roach (09:12)

child that's coming to a party has an allergy that is life threatening, what do you need to know or do about medication or contact with that allergen?

Sara Dawson (09:21)

all of the above what we've spoken about. But I would have thought that the parents or the guardians would mentioned this anyway, but obviously make sure that you know where the medication is and how to use it, at what dose, whether you need to use it again. BSACI, which is the British Society of Allergy and Clinical Immunology, they have allergy action plans and most parents

will have an allergy action plan for their child and it's a one page sheet. It says, you know, if it's a mild reaction, this is how you manage it. If it's a severe reaction, so like anaphylaxis, this is how you manage it. This is the medication. Here is a picture of my child. So you can ask the parents, say to them, do you have an allergy action plan? And that in itself is going to give them confidence that you're even aware of what that is.

Joanne Roach (10:02)

Mm-hmm.

Sara Dawson (10:04)

If you do have someone that comes over a lot and that you know really well that has an allergy, there are free courses on how to manage reactions as well. And if all of that just feels way too overwhelming for you, remember you can say to the parents, look, you guys are welcome to stay if you want. We've invited other parents as well, again, so that child doesn't feel like, great, just my parents are sat there in the corner. those are the considerations, but definitely, definitely make sure you know where it is and how to use it if you're taking

Joanne Roach (10:30)

So taking all of that into account, what do you think that families who have children with allergies most want other parents to know?

Sara Dawson (10:38)

I mean, everybody is different, but I do think a really, really massive part of it is for people to feel like they're taken seriously. There's so many brush off comments that are, you know, can they just have a little bit or, it's not really that bad or, yeah, they'll probably just get a bit of funny tummy or, know, comments like that are really unhelpful. Just listen to them, let them advocate for their child and show that you understand and that you're taking it seriously.

You know, research has shown the the detrimental impact on mental health, parents with children with allergies, the impact that that has on them. And anxiety is way up there. But so is post traumatic stress disorder, you know, it's a really massive area. And we need more psychologists, we absolutely do. But that's a whole other subject. So I know, I do know that at the very least, please take them seriously and listen to what they have to say.

Joanne Roach (11:21)

Hahaha

Joanne Roach (11:33)

I thought that suggestion of taking the food out of the equation altogether or keeping it simple and portioned out in bags was very sensible. It not only helps children with allergies but also, as Sara said, children with other special diets, strong preferences or restrictions or any general eating issue.

Just because we grew up with party food at parties doesn't mean it's mandatory and sometimes providing a great activity with just an easier to control snack is a great idea.

I also loved Sara's last point about making sure that parents feel listened to and taken seriously, and this again can apply to lots of issues around including children. Just knowing someone is taking your concerns seriously can be the real difference between it being an event wracked with nerves and a genuinely fun one that's memorable for all the right reasons. Sara posts regular great information on Instagram about allergies and lots of fun and useful stuff on her stories too.

I'll link to her feed in the show notes as well as her website, so go and give her a follow. I'll be back next time with a seasonal related episode, so I hope to see you then, and in the meantime, happy eating.

00:00 Introduction

01:35 Inviting a child with an allergy home for tea

03:33 How to plan for a party with children with allergies

05:53 Buffets and other party food set ups with allergies

07:51 How to make children with allergies feel genuinely included?

09:11 When allergy medication is involved.

10:30 What do allergy parents want you to know?

11:32 Summary and outro